Timshel
Katherine D. Bennett
(First published in the Lathrop News July 2, 1998)
I have started to write this several times and have not yet found the words...so, I’ll just write.
Lately, I have been thinking about the word timshel. I am no great scholar of languages, and only occasionally do I find a void or thought in a foreign language that I can remember for any length of time, let alone use. The Hebrew word timshel, though reverberates with meanings for me; it means “thou mayest.”
The first time I read the word was in John Steinbeck’s novel East of Eden, a tale of brothers and passion and choices.
The underlying theme of the book is that, eventually, we all have to choose the height and depth of our character. Over and over, the word timshel is used, woven into the thought and fabric of the story. When I read it, it made me think for a long time, and I still find myself thinking about the story.
In my understanding, timshel means that I have a choice in how my life turns out. I’m not trying to imply that I can direct all of the events of my life. That’s not it at all. No. What I’m saying is that I believe my soul is measured by the reaction I have to life’s events. I believe that I have a choice, and that, somehow, those choices matter in the vast scheme of things. Will my divorce embitter me past loving? Will the death of my loved ones make me lost to the world? Will financial struggles make me greedy? Will health problems make me hopeless? Timshel... “Thou mayest.”
I may choose. I may choose to live and love and share and be healthy. I may not. I have a choice. Sometimes it is easier to be embittered and lost and greedy and hopeless.. goodness knows, some of us have a right to feel those things. It’s just...
It’s just that I always wonder how God sees those qualities. I wonder if He ever looks at us with eyes devoid of hope. I don’t think so. I think He has poured hope on us like a libation, a holy bath. We just have to plunge in, even if it is really hard.
Timshel... the possible, the finding a spark of meaning in chaos. Thou mayest, I can, I might, I can choose.
Timshel.